how can move on?

i kept on reminiscing on the memories we've shared..

Shithappens!! 

I have done something wrong.. I get it.. I know it seems like that lies never correct an issue. That is not even an argument to think about, but when you are scared... You tend to hide.. You tend to escape.. Especially when you are dealing with pain.. Pain as it is, is always unwanted. And for that... I justify the lie that I did.


I lie.. I hide.. I clandestinely plan to escape pain.. The pain of being rejected. I am always having that kind of hurt. I should have been numb with the stimulus of it. But you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I am not good at lying... I am not good expressing myself...
I know lying to you... will just make things worst.. But i swear I tried to be honest.. I tried to be strong. But I cannot simply let one reason for you to hate me... To reject me.. I cannot think about of anything else but to lie. I am just a person.. I am not perfect... My mind is not as broad as you think.. I can only think of an easy way.. and that is to lie.. I kept repeating myself.. To let you know.. that I am aware of my actions.. That I do take responsibilty. there is vaugeness in the things that I am saying right now. I cannot make it more specific.. in detail... Because you cannot distinguish pain in such precise manner.. It will be just there.. Like a lurking shadow on a dim lit room.


I am losing words now... I am running out of thoughts.. My mind is clouded and all I wish for is happiness. But I guess.. my feet is not that fast to chase it...

i don't really knows what it means.pero, all i know life is constantly changing, kahit love, kahit ang pag giging mapagmahal, pagiging sweet, lahat nagbabago,naaalala ko dati , kung di kita makausap di ako makatulog, pag di tayo nagkakaintidhan di ako mapakali, dati ang inspirasyong binibigay mo sa akin ay nag uumapaw, pero ngayon di ko na nararamdaman yun. and honestly i can go for days without talking to you,pero don't think that i dont care. because i really care.. kasi alam ko, na di ko pa alam ang gagawin ko pag nawala ka. ewan ko ba.. hay naku! makatulog na nga.. nytie bloggy.. ;)

Praying won’t do it
Hating won’t do it
Drinking won’t do it
Fighting won’t knock you out
Of my head

Hiding won’t hide it
Smiling won’t hide it
Like I ain’t tried it
Everyone’s tried it now
And failed somehow

So when you gonna let me
When you gonna let me out – Out

And if you know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I’m in pieces
Seems like peace is
The only thing I’ll never know
How do you get up
Get up

‘Cos driving won’t do it
Flying won’t do it
Denying won’t do it
Crying won’t drown it out
What you said

When I’m standing on the yellow line
Waiting at the station
Or I’m late for work
A vital presentation
If you call me now girl
Without reservation
I would try to break through

But if you know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I’m in pieces
It seems like peace is
The only thing I never know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I can’t even find a place to start
How do I choose between my head and heart
till it ceases I never know
How do you get up from an all-time low..

you should know, i can only take so much. im only human, prone to wordly things. i know change is inevitable, but if the changes aren't for the better, then why even bother...

  I miss this BLOG!!! :D

.nakatingin lang sa monitor.. iniisip kung ano itatype ko.. hahaha. pero wala akong maisip..oo na wala kasi akong utak..


trip ko lang mag post.. dahil bored ako.




share ko to.. THANK YOU.

im so lucky to have such a great friend like you... who'd forgive me if i forgot her birthday. Happy Belated Birthday Po Dear! please keep me in your heart... as i will always keep you in mine and always remember... i love you so... im letting you go but it doesnt mean im giving up on you...Happy Belated Birthday.. 

i miss this blog... :D sabi nila "do what makes you happy" pero bakit ganun , kung san ka masaya ay dun naman madaming hassle,dameng kontra .. An0 ba dapat ?

tired of looking at your photographs smiling at your latest craze you can change the things you say and do... but nothing can change the fact that you are sadly deranged and i want nothing to do with you, no more hot tears and pride...  im moving on to a better place nightmares dont arrive when i see your face cannot hold on to a bittter past candles like us were never meant to last maybe you were right and i was wrong but nonetheless this is my final about you.... tired of thinking about your memories after all that we've been through nothing can change the fact that i walked the path and i was happy to see it through... xhet! kainis.. ang tanong sa sarili ko.. kung kaya ko bah?? 

to be happy in life, its our choice.. but to be happier, it is always our decision.. nice qoutes... :D


para sa taong malapit sa akin.. 


i know u weren't mine, and u will never be mine again; u can't be mine. maybe i once owned u, but it was just for a while.. too sad it didn't even last, coz everywhere i go.. there's someone owning u. so, i'll just let u go.. even if it's soooo hard for me to do. 

voices in my head..

i dont know what to think, i dont know what to do. she made me feel complete then she broke my heart in two... i am betrayed, she made a fool out of me despite of that i love her still! oh god! im so stupid!!! i want to scream, i want to kick someone elses ass but it will not make no difference... it will not take away my pain and it will not change the fact that i was betrayed... my heaven is not turning into hell and my beautiful angel turns into a devil. the place where im always at peace is now a place of hatred and pain.
nowhere to go, no place to hide for a guy like me who is tormented by his own memory........

War of Hearts and Mind

i still can't find truth and peace how will i find my way.. they say love, love without fear s said to be the key but! just look around NO answer to be found..