i am drinking coffee during this hot weather. no, i am not really a coffee drinker, it's just that i feel so sleepy and i need something to perk me up. the hot cup is a reminder that i can still feel after all.

i had been going on a roller coaster ride for the past weeks. some days would see me on top of things... i don't blame anyone for being in this mess. i own up to my mistakes - part of growing up is to be able to accept that one is flawed and therefore prone to mistakes. i don't blame the circumstances - i believe we make our own destinies and we are responsible for who we are and what we become. i do not blame timing - perfect time only happens in movies and i believe people make their own timing. i just happened to be in this situation at this appropriate time and place. what happened next were all my doing - i am a grown man capable of making my own decision.

how do i come to be in this mess? a lot of factors come into play. and people. and events. but the bottomline here is, i don't want to be here anymore and i want to pick up the pieces of my life and focus on things that matter. there are things i need to let go of, people i need to get in contact with, people i need to lessen my attachment to. sounds like a good plan. i just need to begin another journey. and take off from the path i'd been trudging on. it's time i look for different avenues and find one which make my life more meaningful.

Would someone still take me, despite all of my cracks?

I need some cheering up.

im amazed by people and places where they play love songs on the radio ... with those sweet words and high hopes... but they don't believe in it, they act as if it were just senseless songs ... When I believe those every words and melodies are a promise of what the best of possibilities looks like... pero.. when you've found that someone all love songs will be more special...

grabe kagabi lumindol bigla mga 8:30pm ata yun nasa grocery ako, nakapila na ako sa counter at ang daming tao nang biglang naramdaman kong biglang natumba yung mga item sa isang rack at yun nga lumilindol na pala, biglang namatay yung music biglang tumahimik ang paligid. lahat ng tao nagtitinginan sa isat-isa at nagmamasid lang mga 40 sec. din yun, at medyo palakas ng palakas. at ang layo ko pa sa pinto gusto ko na sanang lumabas baka kasi may mag panic at baka magka stampede.. hahahaha.. PERO ok nman, walang nasaktan..