time heal wounds as time goes by...totoo naman especially when u meet new people or new person that will make u laugh...or make ur self productive ..or join any activities para di ka mah mumukmok sa isang tabi at magisip na naman,,, pero there will come a time na maiisip mo pa rin siya... the moment u spent together...the feeling na u still get teary eyed ... cuz ung feeling na shes the first person uv open up with and trust with taz wala na... kakalunghkot isipin na the dreams u imagine together ay wala ng pagasa pang mangyari sa future.. cuz youre thru.. pinipili lang cguro ni lord ang mga taong may first and last love.. di lahat ganun... tsk tsk tsk..

i am drinking coffee during this hot weather. no, i am not really a coffee drinker, it's just that i feel so sleepy and i need something to perk me up. the hot cup is a reminder that i can still feel after all.

i had been going on a roller coaster ride for the past weeks. some days would see me on top of things... i don't blame anyone for being in this mess. i own up to my mistakes - part of growing up is to be able to accept that one is flawed and therefore prone to mistakes. i don't blame the circumstances - i believe we make our own destinies and we are responsible for who we are and what we become. i do not blame timing - perfect time only happens in movies and i believe people make their own timing. i just happened to be in this situation at this appropriate time and place. what happened next were all my doing - i am a grown man capable of making my own decision.

how do i come to be in this mess? a lot of factors come into play. and people. and events. but the bottomline here is, i don't want to be here anymore and i want to pick up the pieces of my life and focus on things that matter. there are things i need to let go of, people i need to get in contact with, people i need to lessen my attachment to. sounds like a good plan. i just need to begin another journey. and take off from the path i'd been trudging on. it's time i look for different avenues and find one which make my life more meaningful.

Would someone still take me, despite all of my cracks?

I need some cheering up.

im amazed by people and places where they play love songs on the radio ... with those sweet words and high hopes... but they don't believe in it, they act as if it were just senseless songs ... When I believe those every words and melodies are a promise of what the best of possibilities looks like... pero.. when you've found that someone all love songs will be more special...

grabe kagabi lumindol bigla mga 8:30pm ata yun nasa grocery ako, nakapila na ako sa counter at ang daming tao nang biglang naramdaman kong biglang natumba yung mga item sa isang rack at yun nga lumilindol na pala, biglang namatay yung music biglang tumahimik ang paligid. lahat ng tao nagtitinginan sa isat-isa at nagmamasid lang mga 40 sec. din yun, at medyo palakas ng palakas. at ang layo ko pa sa pinto gusto ko na sanang lumabas baka kasi may mag panic at baka magka stampede.. hahahaha.. PERO ok nman, walang nasaktan..

bakit kaya?

bakit ba may mga bagay na mahirap tanggapin at unawain?

-mga maling masarap naman sa pakiramdam?
-mga tamang mabigat sa kalooban?

bakit ba kailangan pang magmahal kung di ka naman
siguradong hanggang sa wkas ay nasa puso mo pa
rin ang pagmamahal na ito?

bakit ba kailangan nating laging sumugal, manalo
ngunit sa huli'y tayo rin ang masasaktan?

bakit ba kayhirap maging matuwid?
at gakurap lang ay makakagawa na tayo ng isang
bagay na habang buhay nating pagsisisihan?

bakit ba mahirap na tumanggi?
bakit ba bibihira ang nadadala?

at bakit ba andaming pwedeng maging bakit?

bakit kaya?

Random

sometimes it takes just one night to realize things that you'd been thinking of for so long. one night to make you understand that things changed and you are no longer the same person you were before. one night to comprehend that there are dreams that may not be achieved. one night to know that however hard you try, sometimes you need to give up and let things be. reality bites but truth sets you free even if it means a broken heart. if i can make you believe that these words written here are from the heart and written with blood, then i can make you believe that love exist even in a blind world. what is real is what you feel inside. it is the painful breaking of the heart when everybody laughs. it is the sorrow filling your being when you are surrounded by people. it is the tears that flow freely when nobody else is looking at you.

if reincarnation do exist, i dont care if i will be reborn a speck all i ask.. is for me to be next to you one more time.. there will be no goodbyes, maybe next life.. you'll be mine.

i imagine the most wonderful thing and believe it is happening right now somewhere, in another time and space... and i feel like a better person, because i believe in those dreams or ideas... i don't believe who i am in this reality that has it's limits, and faults.. i couldn't think of a better reason for living.

you know that line from the song moving closer by NEVER THE STRANGERS.. 

"inch by inch we're moving closer feels like a fairy tale ending.."

can i pretend that the fairy tale ended without us getting closer.. 

no cliches like "and the lived happily ever after.. The End"

can we skip ahead to the "The End" part 

or 

can i say that i wasn't part of your fairy tale.. at all.. 

hahays.. matulog na nga.. Nanayt!! 

Minsan may mga taong dumarating sa buhay natin na sinusubok ang pasenxa naten. Kung hanggang saan natin kayang mag timpi.

May mga taong dumarating din naman na parang napadaan lang, pero naging malaki ang epekto sa buhay mo, naging malaking bahagi na sila ng buhay mo kahit na ba kelan mo lang sila nakilala.


May mga tao rin na sinusubok ang kakayahan mo, parang pinadala sila ng Diyos para tignan kung hanggang saan mo kayang kumapit sa mga bagay na alam mong walang kasiguraduhan.


Minsan, minsan mo lang makikilala ang taong magpapasaya sayo, pero kapag nilisan ka na nila, hindi mo alam kung dadalawin ka pa ng kasiyahan.

Minsan, minsan mo lang makikilala ang taong magpapasaya sayo, pero kapag nilisan ka na nila, hindi mo alam kung dadalawin ka pa ng kasiyahan. 
Pwedeng sumaya ka ulit, pero alam mong me kulang.
Alam mong mas masasaya ka pa sana kung sana andito pa rin sila.


Meron naman mga taong dumarating saten na sobrang patatawanin tayo ng todong-todo, yung masaya ka lang na nanjan xa, kahit na alam mong hindi perfect happiness, at least napapasaya ka niya.

tagal ko ring di nakapag post ng kardamahan ko sa mundo.. wwaaahhhhh!!


Have a BLESSED Sunday mga PEEPS.. 

Sweet Thoughts

Memories of You

Today, You visited my mind again but I will admit it makes me smile and

happy coz you know you will always be special no matter what. I was

bored and I decided to read those messages that you left

and somehow I know to myself that I already moved on coz

every time you visited my mind I never felt the sadness, the hurt and

the headache that brings in me before. Reading your messages makes me

smile and my mind run a happy scenery always, seeing your lovely face

with a smile.



I just hope that during those time, even its just a short period,when

god brought our path together I make you happy, makes you feel special

in a very simple ways, put laughter on your sweet face when we are

talking and i know i made you smile coz i heard you laughing all the

time and I felt that as well. I felt  your honesty, your sincerity 
and most specially the love and care that

you gave.




I know many will not understand this just you and me and I want you to

know that you will always be a treasure in my heart.



You are such a good memories on my part and you will always be my

beautiful Angel. Just pray to god to send me another beautiful person

with a golden heart like yours…i know you are one in a million and i

will never ever encounter a person like you do but i do hope for the

best and i know you will guide me and take good care of me no matter

what.



Thanks for the good memories....i will treasure that forever..

i couldn't be thankful enough for your presence in my life. i've been through this a lot with you but i can't seem to reach an end to this. everything reminds me of you now and it has become an endless quest for answers i know i will never get. the weather seems to understand the way my emotions feel. the grayish sky compels me to crouch under my shell and hide from any more chills. hah! even that reminds me of how your warm touch used to sweep over my shivering skin. oh ishhh! im just sleepy. nytie!

" the need to find another human beung to share one life with has always puzzled me... maybe I am interesting all by myself....With that means, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find it on my own..."



see, its not that bad being single 

feels like the first time.. kamiss tumambay dito ah..   ahmm, ala lang.. walang maisip? type nalang kung ano laman ng utak!  eto na! 


“Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”   

“Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”   

“Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”   

“Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”    

“Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon.” 

Hindi ko maintindihan yung ibang tao na sinasaktan ang sarili nila para sa iba pang tao.

Yung iba naman, dahil sa sobrang depresyon daw.

Yung tipong sobrang sakit na ng nararamdaman nila eh, sinasaktan nila yung pisikal na sarili nila para daw malabas lahat ng sakit. Ewan ko.

Basta ako, nalungkot na rin ako minsan.

Todo-todo rin pero never kong inisip saktan ang sarili ko hindi dahil sa makasarili ako at hindi ko kayang gawin yun, hindi rin dahil sa takot ako sa matatalim na bagay.

Oo takot ako sa ganung bagay pero hindi yun ang dahilan.

Simple lang. Alam mo kasi, kahit saktan mo ng saktan ang sarili mo, hindi ibig sabihin eh, hindi ka na masasaktan ng iba.

Hindi rin yan pagpapakabayani noh!

Binabaril sa Luneta yang mga ganyan. Joke lang! Ang ibig kong sabihin, wag ka nang magpakamartir.

Pag masakit na masyado, tama na!

Matuto ka rin dapat tanggapin na ang PAIN ay laging nandiyan para maappreciate mo yung RELIEF.

Paano mo nga naman malalaman na kaya kang PAGHILUMIN kung hindi ka NASUSUGATAN? Two sides kasi yan palagi.

But never, ever do that to yourself.

Sarili mo nga kaya mong saktan, what more kung ibang tao na yan? So matuto kang mahalin muna ang sarili mo para magawa mo ring mahalin ang ibang tao and in return, mamahalin ka rin nila.

Issshhhh..tupid!

andito ka lagi, kasi di mawala..

sabi ko i got over you, hindi pala..

let's not bring the past back anymore kako..

yun pala sarili ko ang aking niloloko..

i don't want to remember the thing we used to be..

pero bakit nandito ka?nananatili?

akala ko akin ka pa..

yun pala isang maling akala..

nasaan ka na?ang sakit wala ka na..

ano na ako kung wala ka?

siguro kailangan ko ng mag move along..

at tapusin na itong mga tanong..

ayokong maging man who can't be move..

kahit na iniwan mo akong puso'y durog..

di na ako aasa pang muli..

ngunit hindi kita malilimutan..

kasi you're a part of me..

there may be a time when i acted like a coward, i couldn’t let you meet my world we couldn’t dance freely in the air walk together in the rain, play, laugh, enjoy the music, feel the warmth of the sun and get hurt together.. stagger say “its okay baby, ill be there when you fall” hold each other’s hands shield each other’s dreams we couldn’t.. cause i couldn’t.. i couldn’t let this sphere know you, feel you, adore you and recognize you. i am bit a coward, i have labeled you with numbers, bordered you with letters, no pictures just these vague images portrait created with words. i placed you inside my poetry but never took you for a walk outside these solid bulky wall. i placed you inside boxed, captured, imprisoned and i made you my master piece, i was misguided won’t be wrong again this time.. i will make you fall for me, not with numbers, letters, figures or fusion of words.. i will kiss you.. instead of saying I LOVE YOU,  i will hug you.. instead of this I MISS YOU line, i will hold your hand.. instead of overusing I CARE, i will touch you often.. we will be talking rather than arguing..

i will make this happen

i will make you fall for me again

i promise..

You, do you remember me?

Like I remember you?

Do you spend your life

Going back in your mind to that time?

?Cause I, I walk the streets alone

I hate being on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I?m going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can?t breathe, without you it?s lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, that somebody's me...

Bakit ang hirap mag mahal? hahays.. am i not over her.. tsk tsk tsk.. yung feeling na puro bitter ang nagagawa mong story.. yun feeling na naging broken na ang topic ng story mo...yung feeling na hindi mo makuhang magmahal ng iba dahil siya pa rin ang mahal mo yung feeling na ang sakit malamang may mahal na siyang iba pero patuloy ka paring nagmamahal sa kanya yung feeling na ito, mukha kang tanga.. PUTCHA.. yan!! this feelings is totally a SH*t dude! paturo namang makalimot oh paturo naman yung puso kong magmahal ng iba ang bobo ehh..tigas ng ulo...

Darating ang araw. ikaw na ang makakatabi kong matulog. Magka-yakap buong gabi. kasama kitang magpupuyat, kasi pinagku-kwentuhan nating yung mga araw na nagkakilala tayo. Yung mga araw na kinukulit mo ko. at mga araw na iiyak ako kapag galit ka sa akin. Ang sarap siguro ng feeling na magising sa umaga. mukha mo una kong makikita. Pero kapag nagising ka. wala ako sa iyong tabi. ‘Wag kang mag-alala. Nasa kusina lang ako. Pinaglu-luto kita. ♥ ♥ ♥

Hey you, come over and let me embrace you

I know that i'm causing you pain too

But remember if you need to cry

I'm here to wipe your eyes

And i've been fall your falling sleep

I run my thought across your cheek

Just cry 'cause i'm here to wipe your eyes

I know I made you feel this pain

You gotta breathe, we'll be okay

Just cry 'cause i'm here to wipe your eyes

Nakkainis pag ang Dami mo nang nasulat Taz bigla na lang mgdidisconect ang coneksyon mo Taz bigla na lang magclose browser mo. Taz bigla na lang lahat ng naisulat mo eh nabura.. Ung gusto mo ilabas eh mapapalitan na lang ng inis na Di mo maintindihan kung tatawa ka na lang o maiinis lalo kasi magtatype ka ulit depending kung gusto mo pa mgtype or never mind na lang Dahil kahit nawAla lahat ng gusto mo sabihin at iposte eh nakatulong naman din maibsan kahit konti ang emotional state mo.

Whew! Sna Di to mawala.. 

Maiposte na nga........ syet!

Madalas mong nasasabi yan sa kanya tuwing nag-aaway kayo. Paulit-ulit na lang kasi. Kaya nakakasawa na. Di mo na siya maintindihan. Ang dami niyang sinasabi pero ni isa sa mga sinabi niya di mo naman nagawa. Sinusumbatan ka niya sa lahat ng pagkakamali mo. Nakakairita na. Gusto mo siyang sigawan pero di mo rin kayang makita siyang lumuluha.

Pasensya. Pasensya na lang. Nagpapataasan na kayo ng pride. Ayaw magpatalo. Parehong may gustong sabihin. Parehong tama. Kaya nung sinabi mong tama na. Na pagod ka na, Natahimik siya. Akala niya kasi hiwalayan na. Kaya sumagot siya,

“OO! tama na talaga! Pagod na din ako!”

Umalis na siya. Nag-walkout. Naiwan kang mag-isa. Napaisip.. Tapos na nga ba? Marahil tapos na.. Tama nga na ganito na lang. Pagod ka na kasing masaktan. Pagod ka ng umunawa. Pero pinapatay ka ng diwa mong nagsasabi na di mo kayang wala siya. Na nagkabiglaan lang kayo. Na mahal na mahal mo pa rin siya sa kabila ng lahat.

Hinabol mo siya. Hinanap. Send ng send ng text pero walang reply. Tinawagan pero ayaw sumagot. Lagot na. Natatakot ka na. Balisa at di mo na alam ang gagawin. Palipasin ang gabi, baka okay na kayo bukas..

Pero..

Kinabukasan..

Sa susunod na araw.. 

Sa susunod pa..

Isang linggo na nakalipas ..

Di na pala.. Hinintay ka lang niya na sabihin mo na pagod ka na.. Kasi matagal na niya gustong bumitaw. 

tamad na tamad na tamad nako sa buhay ko.
masaya naman ako na single
pero lately nararamdaman ko na naman ung PARANG may kulang 

super busy naman ako
kaibigan dito kaibigan doon
gala dito gala doon
yung tipong umaga na uuwi sabay tutulog tapos alis ulit ng gabi

perooooooooo.
ewan ko ba namimiss ko ang sarili ko na inlove..
yung tipong may taong 
- kinukwentuhan ka ng success mo sa buhay
- inaaway mo for no reasons at all
- sinasama sa kung anu anong mga lakad
- kinukulit at ginugulo para lang maitext ng mga chessy eklavu mo
- yung una mong naisip pag gising mo at huli mong naaala bago ka matulog
- at kung anu ano pa ..
iba padin pala yung may someone special talaga.


pero hindi ko naman sinasabing malungkot ang pagiging single..
madaming advantage .. 
- sayo lang ang pera mo
- hindi mo kailangang magpaalam pag aalis or gigimik ka
- madami kang quality time with loved ones
- libre kang mag sight seeing all the way
- at hindi ka stressed kakaisip kung ok lang ba sya pag hindi sya nakatawag or nakapag text sayo
- etc ..


sa totoo lang ang tingin ko sa babae STRESS .. 
you have to please them at sabayan ang mood swings nilang kay gulo ..
parang lalake minsan malala pa .. 

Sa buhay di ko dapat isipin ang mga sakit na aking naranasan, pero dahil kailangan paano ko malalaman kung ano ang itinuro nito, diba? Kailangan eh… hindi kung gaano ako umiyak; kundi kung paano ako ngumiti, at hindi kung gaano ako nasaktan; kundi kung gaano ako minahal.
Everything for you is all uncertain, kahit kailangan mali ka parin. Dapat pinanansin mo yung mga bagay na ang pagka-kaalam mo ay hindi mahalaga. You don’t realize that you’re hurting me so much that sometimes I cant handle it anymore. Bakit ba nangyari ito? Dahil kailangan, ganon? To get my heart to be broken to learn to love? Then these things went wrong, as in maling-mali.
Why cant we forgive each other, coz we both know that this is just a test, lets know our mistakes, give each others chance to change and to start wad we had before! Kailangan kasi! Mahal na kita, tinuruan mo ako and I don’t want you to let go…
Saan ba ito nagsimula? Dati naman were happy on each others company. hahays!!! 

gusto ko lang ng katahimikan, ndi dahil sa maingay o magulo paligid ko,
kundi dahil magulo ako. 




ako na! ako na! 


  



kung nagbago man ako, alam ko kung bakit.
ang ipaliwanag kung paano at kailan ako makakabalik, hindi ko alam.
hindi ko alam.

basta ang gusto ko lang ngayon ay maging masaya kahit pa na mag isa. 

kala mo yun na yun
tapos di pa pala

kala mo tapos na
may pag-asa pa pala

kala mo ok na ulit
joke lang pala yun

wala bang mas magulo?
akala ko ba babae magulo sa mundo?  



let's define kanina
kanina cute ka, ngayon maganda na
kanina nandyan na, ngayon nasa puso na kita
kanina crush lang kita, ngayon mahal na kita
kanina totoo pa, pero ngayon...




JOKE lang.

 

i should have said, with you

instead i told you, with myself

sometimes i want to strangle myself 

for being an ass...

i still think about you..

i still mad about you...

i still want you and need you by my side...

your still da one..



nakita ko n nmn muka mo sa fb...
hayst...
bakit parang my bitterness pa rin sakin...
ano tong nararamdaman ko???

kaw pa rin ba???

kaso...

di na ko nagun nag iisa,,,


bakit ka kasi umalis at bakit mo ko iniwan???

andame paring questions sakin...pero..



ganun pa man,,
kahit balibaligtarin ntin ang mundo..

ndi na talaga pwede..

your taken na cguro.

wala kasing closure n ngyari sa relasyon nten kaya cguro gnito pdn ako,,,


hayst...

i have loved you once, i will never love you again. you have hurt me so deeply that it cuts thru my soul. now i am slowly healing and thanks to you.. thank you for all the pains, it remind me how human i still am. thank you for teaching me how to love, for the next time i will fall in love again it will be far more than what i have given to you. by hurting me i have grown mature.. i have to. i have learned to stand and be proud of who and what i really am. i would forever appreciate you for saving me to be with a loser for the rest of my life. most of all, thank you so much for hurting me for i have learned to love and respect myself. now i know i deserve so much more.