i am drinking coffee during this hot weather. no, i am not really a coffee drinker, it's just that i feel so sleepy and i need something to perk me up. the hot cup is a reminder that i can still feel after all.

i had been going on a roller coaster ride for the past weeks. some days would see me on top of things... i don't blame anyone for being in this mess. i own up to my mistakes - part of growing up is to be able to accept that one is flawed and therefore prone to mistakes. i don't blame the circumstances - i believe we make our own destinies and we are responsible for who we are and what we become. i do not blame timing - perfect time only happens in movies and i believe people make their own timing. i just happened to be in this situation at this appropriate time and place. what happened next were all my doing - i am a grown man capable of making my own decision.

how do i come to be in this mess? a lot of factors come into play. and people. and events. but the bottomline here is, i don't want to be here anymore and i want to pick up the pieces of my life and focus on things that matter. there are things i need to let go of, people i need to get in contact with, people i need to lessen my attachment to. sounds like a good plan. i just need to begin another journey. and take off from the path i'd been trudging on. it's time i look for different avenues and find one which make my life more meaningful.

Would someone still take me, despite all of my cracks?

I need some cheering up.

im amazed by people and places where they play love songs on the radio ... with those sweet words and high hopes... but they don't believe in it, they act as if it were just senseless songs ... When I believe those every words and melodies are a promise of what the best of possibilities looks like... pero.. when you've found that someone all love songs will be more special...

grabe kagabi lumindol bigla mga 8:30pm ata yun nasa grocery ako, nakapila na ako sa counter at ang daming tao nang biglang naramdaman kong biglang natumba yung mga item sa isang rack at yun nga lumilindol na pala, biglang namatay yung music biglang tumahimik ang paligid. lahat ng tao nagtitinginan sa isat-isa at nagmamasid lang mga 40 sec. din yun, at medyo palakas ng palakas. at ang layo ko pa sa pinto gusto ko na sanang lumabas baka kasi may mag panic at baka magka stampede.. hahahaha.. PERO ok nman, walang nasaktan..

bakit kaya?

bakit ba may mga bagay na mahirap tanggapin at unawain?

-mga maling masarap naman sa pakiramdam?
-mga tamang mabigat sa kalooban?

bakit ba kailangan pang magmahal kung di ka naman
siguradong hanggang sa wkas ay nasa puso mo pa
rin ang pagmamahal na ito?

bakit ba kailangan nating laging sumugal, manalo
ngunit sa huli'y tayo rin ang masasaktan?

bakit ba kayhirap maging matuwid?
at gakurap lang ay makakagawa na tayo ng isang
bagay na habang buhay nating pagsisisihan?

bakit ba mahirap na tumanggi?
bakit ba bibihira ang nadadala?

at bakit ba andaming pwedeng maging bakit?

bakit kaya?

Random

sometimes it takes just one night to realize things that you'd been thinking of for so long. one night to make you understand that things changed and you are no longer the same person you were before. one night to comprehend that there are dreams that may not be achieved. one night to know that however hard you try, sometimes you need to give up and let things be. reality bites but truth sets you free even if it means a broken heart. if i can make you believe that these words written here are from the heart and written with blood, then i can make you believe that love exist even in a blind world. what is real is what you feel inside. it is the painful breaking of the heart when everybody laughs. it is the sorrow filling your being when you are surrounded by people. it is the tears that flow freely when nobody else is looking at you.

if reincarnation do exist, i dont care if i will be reborn a speck all i ask.. is for me to be next to you one more time.. there will be no goodbyes, maybe next life.. you'll be mine.

i imagine the most wonderful thing and believe it is happening right now somewhere, in another time and space... and i feel like a better person, because i believe in those dreams or ideas... i don't believe who i am in this reality that has it's limits, and faults.. i couldn't think of a better reason for living.

you know that line from the song moving closer by NEVER THE STRANGERS.. 

"inch by inch we're moving closer feels like a fairy tale ending.."

can i pretend that the fairy tale ended without us getting closer.. 

no cliches like "and the lived happily ever after.. The End"

can we skip ahead to the "The End" part 

or 

can i say that i wasn't part of your fairy tale.. at all.. 

hahays.. matulog na nga.. Nanayt!! 

Minsan may mga taong dumarating sa buhay natin na sinusubok ang pasenxa naten. Kung hanggang saan natin kayang mag timpi.

May mga taong dumarating din naman na parang napadaan lang, pero naging malaki ang epekto sa buhay mo, naging malaking bahagi na sila ng buhay mo kahit na ba kelan mo lang sila nakilala.


May mga tao rin na sinusubok ang kakayahan mo, parang pinadala sila ng Diyos para tignan kung hanggang saan mo kayang kumapit sa mga bagay na alam mong walang kasiguraduhan.


Minsan, minsan mo lang makikilala ang taong magpapasaya sayo, pero kapag nilisan ka na nila, hindi mo alam kung dadalawin ka pa ng kasiyahan.

Minsan, minsan mo lang makikilala ang taong magpapasaya sayo, pero kapag nilisan ka na nila, hindi mo alam kung dadalawin ka pa ng kasiyahan. 
Pwedeng sumaya ka ulit, pero alam mong me kulang.
Alam mong mas masasaya ka pa sana kung sana andito pa rin sila.


Meron naman mga taong dumarating saten na sobrang patatawanin tayo ng todong-todo, yung masaya ka lang na nanjan xa, kahit na alam mong hindi perfect happiness, at least napapasaya ka niya.

tagal ko ring di nakapag post ng kardamahan ko sa mundo.. wwaaahhhhh!!


Have a BLESSED Sunday mga PEEPS.. 

Sweet Thoughts

Memories of You

Today, You visited my mind again but I will admit it makes me smile and

happy coz you know you will always be special no matter what. I was

bored and I decided to read those messages that you left

and somehow I know to myself that I already moved on coz

every time you visited my mind I never felt the sadness, the hurt and

the headache that brings in me before. Reading your messages makes me

smile and my mind run a happy scenery always, seeing your lovely face

with a smile.



I just hope that during those time, even its just a short period,when

god brought our path together I make you happy, makes you feel special

in a very simple ways, put laughter on your sweet face when we are

talking and i know i made you smile coz i heard you laughing all the

time and I felt that as well. I felt  your honesty, your sincerity 
and most specially the love and care that

you gave.




I know many will not understand this just you and me and I want you to

know that you will always be a treasure in my heart.



You are such a good memories on my part and you will always be my

beautiful Angel. Just pray to god to send me another beautiful person

with a golden heart like yours…i know you are one in a million and i

will never ever encounter a person like you do but i do hope for the

best and i know you will guide me and take good care of me no matter

what.



Thanks for the good memories....i will treasure that forever..