I'm trying to end a crazy love
Even if I die now
I will be happy
You loved and I loved
With just our love, we loved
The entire world tried to stop us
Saying that our love will end in tears
Everyone was a liar
But how can one say that one can love without tears?
I miss your love
I miss everything about you
Because it is such a deep love
I already miss you
I miss you like crazy
Though I try to leave
I'm eventually in your heart
They say that love ends in tears
It's foolish but maybe they're right
Tears keep flowing,
Ever since I let you go
I'm afraid of my love
I'm afraid of love
Though I finally left you
When I want to go crazy
When I miss you to the point of death
I close my eyes and draw up our love again

I miss you and I miss you again

but whatever it brings, stand to it!

sometimes, you just have to shut your stupid mouth up.
don't ask.
oh, no, never.
because if you do...
when you found your answers...
you'll be disappointed.
and there's no way you can ever hide it because it will be too obvious.

your stupidity will be very huge it cannot be hidden elsewhere but to be uncovered in front of the laughing crowd.

so shut up.
shut up.
shut up!!!

i know i'm weird.

moody pa ko  

alam ko  ako

abnormal.

nagagalit rin naman ako.
naiinis.

d ko lng talaga pinapakita  

ano namang silbi pag ipapakita kong malungkot ako?

syempre, mgtatanong mga tao.
kung bakit ako ganito.
kase nga 

lage akong nakatawa na parang walang problema,

kaya sa twing nababadtrip ako at ayoko ko mgshare.

d ko na lng pnakapakita.

sabi nga ni doraemon,, wag mong ipapakitang malungkot ka kung d ka rin naman mgsshare.
para ka na ring ng aalok ng hopia tas d mo naman ibibigay  


seryoso naman ako nun e.
pero ng matututo ako magbiro.

nakalimutan na ng mga tao na pwd rin naman akong mgseryoso

pag ng sseryoso na ko, tawa lng natatanggap ko
kesyo d daw bagay sakin

kesyo ano ba dawng drama ko.

tsk.

kaya mg wwalkout na lng ako

d ako iimik hanggang christmas


aalis talaga ako




hahanapin ko ang ikapitong dragon ball  


hahays!!!

cruel to the eye
i see the way he makes you smile
watching him hold what used to be mine...

It crushed me inside.
For every word that caused you to cry.
I won't forget that I left the one I was looking to find.

I want you back in may life.


*Siguro rather than wishing to have her back the least you can do is to wish her true happiness. *

They said that people who are afraid of the past have no future. I disagreed, past had made me changed for a better future, made me stronger and avoid me not to do the same mistake again. But how would one person guarantees that the present girl/gal today is the right one for you.


After we parted ways, I focused on living my life. Staying away from A made it easier to move on. No more confusing signals to throw me off track. No more mind games. No more ambiguity. While I was hurt on the inside, at least now I could focus on the path of recovery rather than be left hanging in the middle of no gal’s land. I was sad and disappointed that A was not the one, but I remained hopeful that my special someone was out there and I would meet her someday. ASA PA AQ??

ikaw talaga A.. pasaway! :P

 

you love someone, then you promise to love them forever... and you're prepared to.. but what the hell do you do if they don't love you back?? goddamn life.. then you get angry.. but you don't know why you're angry.. you just ARE... and why do people always say to forget the one you love??? HUh??!?!? you love the friggin' person.. how do you forget them??? Missed ko siya... Asar talo ako sa kanya...HMmmppp!!! moody mode ako in times of like this, lalo nat emotero ako Badtrip talaga...bat kya, di ko kayang bumitaw bat hinahayaan kong maramdaman to hahaha patawa talaga... pag naisipan kong bitiwan sya walang bawian pero sa totoo lang HINDI ko sya bibitawan hanggat naniniwala ako, ang puso ko na kahit kelan isa sya sa mga espesyal na hinayaan kong guluhin ang tahimik kong mundo.. 

We come. We go. That's life or so they say. Come and go, it's inevitable; or is it necessary? When bidding goodbye comes, we look back and it doesn't matter if we cry or smile. Leaving is always sad and solemn, after all, both for the one who leaves and for those for whom he is leaving from. We're never as much hurt whenever we go.We wonder why is it that leaving is always painful and emotional. In case we pretend to be unhurt of our going, our emotions could betray us, and lay bare our wounds of our leaving. Hidden or otherwise, wounds are just part and parcel of the whole saga. We cry. We smile despite the pain. And there's the mix emotion, one that is both sad and excited. Then we go; and we've already left before we could ever know it. It doesn't matter when we're gone.

As we leave, we know we could go back one day. It's time that tells us when. What it seems to be the most sensible thing to do when we're leaving is nothing but to look back. It may do us no good but it's important nonetheless. 


The moment we go, we should not forget we've been to the places and people we left behind. We know we could have lost a home. But home is where it is safe to be who we really are. It's where we can never be lost. 


This day reminds me of someone... October 26, 2011..

One day, should we decide that we go back to where we have left, it would be special to reminisce the past just to have the taste of what it feels like to be exactly where we were before. The people..the events..the places.. Here, we can refresh the memories. We go. We go back. The same thing happens. The tears..the smile..the memories.

I love reminiscing.
But we have to admit that despite the tears, those memories somewhat gives us happiness kaya nga we still keep them in our minds db???. am i making sense here?

Malapit ng sumapit ang araw ng mga patay
Ang mga tao dito sa syudad nais mag-uwian
Sa kani kanilang mga probinsya o lalawigan
Upang gunitain mga kamag-anak na pumanaw
—–
Marami na rin ang bumisita sa sementeryo
Upang linisan at mapinturahan ang mga nitso
Pati ang paligid nito ay tatabasan ng damo
Upang masiyahan ang mga mahal nilang yumao
—–
At pagsapit ng eksaktong araw ng mga patay
Dala nila’y sari-saring bulaklak na iaalay
Ganun din ang mga kandilang may iba’t ibang kulay
Tanda ng pagmamahal sa yumaong mahal sa buhay
—–
Iba’t ibang tagpo ang makikita sa sementeryo
May kanya kanyang gimik ang mga nagtutungo rito
Mga kabataang dumadalaw may dala pang radyo
Sari-saring ingay, naririnig ng nagrorosaryo
—–
Habang mga kamag anak taimtim na nagdarasal
Sa kaluluwang nasa purgatoryo o kalangitan
Sa isang sulok ng nitso’y may kwentuhan at tawanan
At may mga kabataang patuloy na nagsusugal
—–
Sari-saring pagkain ang kanilang inihahain
Kahit maghapong mamalagi doon ‘di gugutumin
Kung iyo ngang pagmamasdan mukhang nagpiknik ang dating
Kulang lang pati ang yumao’y bumangon at kumain
—–
At pagsapit ng ilang oras ng kanilang pagdalaw
Sila’y babalik sa kani-kanilang mga tahanan
Magmumuni-muni ng mga ala-alang iniwan
Nang mga mahal nilang kamag-anak na pumanaw
—–
Bagaman malungkot ang pag dalaw sa sementeryo
Dahil sa masakit nilang paglisan dito sa mundo
Ay nagiging masaya na rin dahil sa kumustahan,
Kwentuhan at tawanan ng mga kamag anakan

I Miss you My Erpat.. :(

FACT!!!

“Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo.  Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!” 

“Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.”    

“Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?” 

“Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka..  Kaya quits lang.”

“Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..”  

“Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan. In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!”

cruel to the eye
i see the way he makes you smile
watching him hold what used to mine...


it crushed me inside
for every word that caused you to cry
i wont forget that i left the one i was looking to find...


i want you back in my life...


*Siguro rather than wishing to have her back the least you can do is to wish her true happiness.*

May tama bang paraan o linya sa pakikipaghiwalay?

Heto ang ilan sa kanila:

1. IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME – Anak ng hilaw na sayote. Isa sa pinaka lumang litanya. Sa sobrang luma nito, pwede na siyang itabi sa “I shall return” ni Mcarthur. Kung may iba pang chicks noon, malamang ito ang ginamit ni Adan para makipagbreak kay Eba. Ikaw naman pala ang may problema, bakit sakin ka nakikipaghiwalay? E di dapat ang iwanan mo e yang sarili mo. Schizo kaba o naka coccaine?

2. YOU’RE TOO PERFECT FOR ME – Applicable lang ito dun sa mga jowa na halos nasa kanila na ang lahat. Gwapo/Maganda. Matalino. Mayaman. May magandang career. Magaling sa sports. May alam sa music. May sense of humor. Mabait. Samakatuwid. Noong umulan ng magagandang katangian, may dala siyang planggana. Siya lang ata ang anak ng Diyos. Hindi ito pwede sa bf/gf mong ex-con o drug pusher.

3. IT’S NOT WORKING – Isa sa pinakamalabo. Bakit “not working”?. Sira ba tayo na parang alarm clock na hindi tumutunog? O cellphone na hindi nakakareceive ng call kahit may signal? Ano? Kelangan bang palitan ang mga battery natin?

4. MAYBE WE’RE NOT MEANT TO BE – Naks. Paano mo naman nasabi yun? Dahil ba hindi tayo nagtagpo sa ilalim ng gabi na puno ng bituin? Dahil ba magkaiba ang sinagot natin sa compatibility quiz sa internet? Dahil ba vegetarian ka at nasusuka ako sa chopsuey? O dahil ayon sa horoscope e hindi tugma ang mga zodiac sign natin? Diba may bagong sign na nadagdag? Icheck mo ulit. Baka this time. Meant to be na.

5. I THINK WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS – Sabagay. Kaya nga kita hinahatid sundo araw-araw. Kaya kita dinadalaw sa bahay niyo. Kaya kita tinetext ng iloveyou bawat oras. Kaya nga kita nililibre ng sine at dinner linggo-linggo. Kaya kita nireregaluhan ng alahas at sapatos kahit wala na akong makain. Kasi alam ko, sa bandang huli, FRIENDS parin tayo. Pakyu.

6. I’M NO LONGER HAPPY – Bakit? Teka. May mga bago naman akong knock-knock. Promise, di ko na uulitin yung joke tungkol sa contest ng hapon, intsik at pilipino sa pagpapalakasan ng putok. Mag-aaral ako ng juggling. Matuto din akong mag-magic.Magpaparetoke ako para maging kamukha ni Mr. Bean.

7. I FELL OUT OF LOVE – Asan? Baka pwede pang damputin? Pag-pagan lang natin. Wala pa namang 5 minutes o dumaan na eroplano.

8. I NEED SPACE – isa pang malabo. Bakit? Buong araw ba tayong naglalakad sa isang masikip na eskenita? Pero kung gusto mo talaga ng space, halika, ilalaglag kita sa gitna ng pacific ocean.

9. MAYBE IT’S NOT THE RIGHT TIME – Parang linya lang sa kantang “somewhere down the road”. We had the right love at the wrong time. Teka. Kelan ba ang tamang panahon? Pwede bang sabihin mo para mai-ekis ko sa kalenaryo namin? Siguro naniniwala siyang magugunaw na ang mundo sa 2012.

10. I HAVE A DIFFERENT SET OF PRIORITIES – Sinabi ko bang umabsent ka sa trabaho para makapamasyal tayo sa Luneta? Binabawasan ko ba ang sahod mo na parang SSS at PAGIBIG? Kinumbinsi ba kita kahit minsan na iwanan ang pamilya mo at magpalit ng career bilang suicide bomber?

11. I DON’T SEE MY FUTURE WITH YOU – Ok lang sakin to. May lahi pala sila ng manghuhula. Itanong mo ang kombinasyon na tatama sa lotto bago ka umuwi.

12. YOU’RE NOT THE ONE – Patay tao diyan. Solid hit ito. Kumbaga, hindi ikaw ang tamang susi para sa isang kandado na tulad niya. So hindi bubukas. Hayaan mo na. Tandaan, ang mga kandado ay bagay lamang sa bilibid.

13. WE’RE TOO SIMILAR – Hala. Sobra naman daw ang compatibility niyo. Nagiging predictable at boring na ang relasyon. Hayaan mo na, tanggapin mo nalang pag sinabihan ka ng ganun. Sabay regaluhan mo ng aso. Pakasalan niya kamo. Ewan ko lang kung maging “too similar” pa. Hayop yun. Tao siya.

14. WE’RE TOO DIFFERENT – Sala sa init. Sala sa lamig. Masyado naman kayong magkaiba kaya daw hindi nagwowork. Ano bang gusto ng BF mo? Parehas kayong may bigote? Ano ba gusto ng GF mo? Pareho kayong gumagamit ng sanitary napkin?

15. YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER – Bakit? Higanteng teddy bear ba ako na premyo sa Timezone at kulang ang ticket na napanalunan mo?

16. WE’VE GROWN APART – Ano tayo? Sanga ng punong acacia?

17. I DON’T SEE MYSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW – tang ina ka. Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi??

18. WE SHOULD CONSIDER OTHER OPTIONS – aruy. Sabagay, kung sa carinderia nga, di pwedeng puro adobo nalang ang ulamin mo. Try mo din yung piniritong isda na kahapon pa naghihintay na may bumili.

19. MAYBE THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE FOR BOTH OF US – oo naman. Gusto mo ireto kita sa tropa ko? Si Jograd. Mabait yun. Kalalabas niya lang ng manila city jail. Rape with murder ang kaso. Magkakasundo kayo. Try mo lang. Ano ngayon kung puro tattoo sa braso? Art yun. And dont judge a book by its cover.

20. WE’RE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE AS WE WE’RE BEFORE – ibig sabihin di na siya tao. Bampira na siya. O werewolf na may six pack abs.

Umpisa palang yan. Syempre may secondary ammunition pa.

1. I HOPE WE COULD STILL BE FRIENDS – Oo naman. Buburahin nga lang kita sa Facebook, Twitter at cellphone ko. Susunugin ko din mga litrato mo para gawing bonfire. At wag na wag kanang dadaan sa bahay. Bibili ako ng bagong aso. Yung hindi ka kilala. Para lapain ka kung sakaling maligaw ka samin. Pero friends parin tayo.

2. I STILL CARE – ibig sabihin nito, wag mo daw bawiin yung mga mamahaling gamit na niregalo mo sa kanya.

3. I LOVE YOU, BUT IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU – Astig. Nakuha niyang durugin ang puso mo ng pinong-pino na tila pulbos ng espasol dahil lang sa salitang “IN”. Kahit sa scrabble hindi pwede yun eh.

4. I WILL TREASURE YOU FOREVER – ako din, i will treasure you forever. Pwede ko bang hingiin ang bungo mo para gawing souvenir??

5. YOU WILL REALIZE THAT IT’S FOR THE BETTER – siguro nga. Dadating ang panahon na matatangap ko din. Salamat ha. For the mean time, pwede ba kitang saksakin ng bread knife sa leeg? Pang-alis stress lang.

6. YOU’RE LIKE A BROTHER/SISTER TO ME – kung trip mo ding halikan ang kapatid mo tulad ng sa atin. Patingin ka sa psychiatrist.

7. IT’S NOT THAT THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE (FOR NOW) – wala naman daw siyang iba. as of this moment. habang kausap ka niya at mahigpit ang hawak mo sa tinidor at kutsilyo.

8. IT’S OVER, PLEASE UNDERSTAND – oo nga naman. Intindihin mo siya. Mukhang hirap na hirap si gago sa pinagdadaanan niya. Sana maintindihan ka rin niya pag sapilitan mo siyang pinainom ng insecticide.

9. MAYBE IT’S STILL US IN THE FUTURE – astig. Pansamantala muna niyang dudukutin ang puso mo at ilalaglag sa blender. Tapos ibabalik niya sayo ang baso ng dinuguan shake kalakip ang pag-asa na baka bukas o sa kabilang buhay e magiging kayo uli. Sarap no.

10. YOU’RE STILL MY BEST FRIEND – the best. Ayaw mo nun? Bestfriend ka pa rin niya? So ibig sabihin, ililibre mo parin siya at obligado kang magregalo tuwing may okasyon. Anong kapalit? Ikaw lang naman ang unang makakaalam kung sino ang bago niyang jowa. Ikaw din ang unang makakarinig ng mga “sweet moments” nila nung ipinalit sayo, habang ikaw ay busy sa paghihigpit ng tali sa iyong leeg na nakasabit sa ceiling fan.

Pagkatapos mong palitan ang pangalan niya sa phonebook bilang Lucifer, gawing scratch paper ang mga sulat niya pag math exam, idikit ang picture niya sa mga wanted posters, ituro siya bilang prime suspect sa holdapan ng mga computer shop, idelete sa mga social networking sites, ipagkalat na ipinanganak siyang may buntot na parang unggoy. Aminin mo. Ilang beses mo paring chinecheck ang profile niya sa FB gamit ang isang dummy account. Natural lang yun. Alangan namang maghanda ka pa ng pansit at biko dahil iniwan ka ng jowa mo. Di madaling lumimot. Pero lilipas din yan. Parang gutom. Mahapdi sa simula. Pero nawawala din. Dadating ang oras, matatawa ka nalang kung bakit mo pinagaksayahan ng luha ang gung-gong na yun.

Siguro wala namang swabeng linya na aaktong parang anaesthesia. Mabango lang sa pandinig ang ilan. Pero pag narealize na ng utak kung anong nais mong sabihin (depende kung slow ang pinagsabihan), iisa lang ang resulta noon. Konting respeto lang ang kailangan. Kung pwedeng personal, wag nang daanin sa text o tawag. Mas malala kung missed call lang. Ano yun? May secret code kayo? “Love, pag nag missedcall ako sayo ng 13 times, ibig sabihin nun, break na tayo ha??, love you tsup!!”.

Hindi lahat ng nakipaghiwalay sa kanilang mga karelasyon ay manloloko. At hindi lahat ng nanatili sa kanilang “relationship status” ay matino.

Ang nabigong pag-ibig ay parang sugat. Patakan mo ng kalamansi. Para di ka maiputan ng ibong adarna.

--> "being bitter is better than committing suicide"

wow! its been awhile... and guess what its almost a year na din.. that i made this blog.. kaso nga lang, i dont have enough time to put feed this bloggy of mine. hahaha.. busy kasi for the past days because of palaro... and Fiesta also.. kumusta na nga din pala si gelle.. hope his dad is fine nah.. o sya be right back! gulo ng isip ko.. :D hahaha   

Happiness is...

Have you ever felt so out of place
That the smile on your face
Was to keep from cryin'
I don't know how we get so out of touch
But I don't want much
Just to find out
What happiness is
While everybody else is winning
You're stuck waiting for your new beginning
So happiness is
Wherever you find it
You may be full of life's frustrations
But I'm up for negotiations
My happiness is
Wherever I find it
And I wanna find it with you
Have you ever felt...
If you got your lucky break and broke it
I guess you've got your options open
But happiness is
Wherever you find it...yeah
And I wanna find it with you...

naalala nyo pa ba ang MIRC???


nung di pa nauso ang mga social networking sites, may mundo na sa ilalim ng internet na halos napag-iwanan na ng panahon.

ang MIRC or microsoft internet relay chat ay isa sa mga sikat noon na chatting medium. sa pagkakaalam ko di na kailangang mag-register(pero mas mabuti kung nareregister ang nickname para di makuha ng iba). its been 6 years at ngayon ko lang nalaman na napaka-complicated pala nito.

kung may nickname ka na, mamimili ka lang ng server at pagkatapos join ka ng room or channel. for example #worldchat, #love etc. halos lahat na yata ng kalokohan nandito na. syempre, pugad rin ang mirc ng mga epal, posers at seaman. in the brightside, marami kang nakikilalang tao at pwede ka pang makipag eyeball sa ka-chat mo.

nung 1st year high school or elementary na yun, panahon yun ng counter-strike, hentai at flash games. napansin ko ang MIRC at talagang na-curious lang ako. masaya pala talagang makipag-chat. nagpanggap lang akong 18 years old, it major at single. nakakalibang talagang makipag-usap sa taga ibang bansa. yes, really. may naka-chat akong form us, europe at asia. kadalasan, naghahanap lang ng makausap at yung iba masyadong horny, bata pa ako nun.

isa sa mga memorable chat moments ko ay sa mga universities gaya ng #admu. marami pa talagang adik noon at nakakatuwa talaga makipag-usap sa di mo kakilala. (don't talk to strangers) para na rin kaming nagkakape. sharing ng problems, love life at mga question & answers. dahil nasa cagayan de oro pa ako noon, pumapasok ako sa #cdo #cagayan at pati na rin mga regional gaya ng #cebu at #manila. it was all for the free time. hanggang sa dumating ang friendster at myspace. at ngayon facebook at twitter. nagmistulang ghost town ang mirc. may iilan pa rin namang gumagamit. iilan na lang talaga.

lalo na ng dumating ang skype at yahoo messenger na may webcam at voice support. pinabayaan na ba talaga ng microsoft ang MIRC? this shit still exist, folks. sabi nga nila, ang tunay na fashion ay di nalilimutang gaya ng uso. MIRC started it all.

"The hardest thing to do is leaving your comfort zone. But you have to let go of the life you're familiar with and take the risk to live the life you dream about." - T. Arigo

If we don't go after what we want, talagang hindi mapapasaatin ito. If we don't step forward, mananatili tayo sa pwestong kinatatayuan natin. Kaya dapat kung nais natin makakita ng pagbabago, hindi lang dapat puro salita. Dapat umaksyon din tayo at gumawa ng paraan para makamit natin ang mga pangarap at pagbabagong hangad natin. We need to open new doors and create new paths. We need to drop all our fears and take every risk to live our dreams. Kaya huwag mong hayaang pangunahan ka ng takot, fight for what you want. 

P.S.Sabi nga sa Nemo: "Just keep swimming"
Sabi naman sa Meet the Robinsons: "Keep moving forward"
At kung gusto nyong local, sabi nga ni Andres Bonifacio: "Sugod mga kapatid!" 

i miss my dear.. 
I've never have had serious relationship ever since...

6, 8, 12

Its funny how simple things can be so complicated.How you live your life everyday but you wish you were somewhere but here. Sometimes doing the right thing is not the thing that makes you happy,but you have to be steady and just hang on there. I always thought that im weak yet the thoughts of what ive been through prove enough that im more than what i thought i am. Sometimes I just dont know what to think and sometimes I just dont wanna think...somehow i wish that im a different person or only if theres such a thing as lets try this again and repeat from the start - Rehearsal lang ba... This life is your only shot so just do it right. I wish thats easy... yah right.. it took me a failure after failure to learn the right thing. Love complicate things, but love makes my trip in this world worthwhile. Its complicated but it sure does feel good, hence love like Truth sometimes it prevail sometimes it hurts but it worth a shot. 

masakit sumuko sa bagay na matagal nating pinaglaban

sa isang iglap parang isang bulang mawawala

pero sa sarili mo alam mong kayang mong lumaban..

ang masakit laban ka ng laban..

sinuko ka na pala. im sober.. how awful.. *YOU"RE STILL MY FAVORITE HEARTACHE.  till now DEAR'ANGEL..

life is worthwhile if you LEARN. What you don’t know WILL hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences, negative and positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people’s experiences, both positive and negative. I’ve always said it is too bad failures don’t give seminars. We don’t want to pay them so they don’t tour around giving seminars. But the information would be very valuable – how someone who had it all, messed it up.

Voyage...

We come. We go. That's life or so they say. Come and go, it's inevitable; or is it necessary? When bidding goodbye comes, we look back and it doesn't matter if we cry or smile. Leaving is always sad and solemn, after all, both for the one who leaves and for those for whom he is leaving from. We're never as much hurt whenever we go.We wonder why is it that leaving is always painful and emotional. In case we pretend to be unhurt of our going, our emotions could betray us, and lay bare our wounds of our leaving. Hidden or otherwise, wounds are just part and parcel of the whole saga. We cry. We smile despite the pain. And there's the mix emotion, one that is both sad and excited. Then we go; and we've already left before we could ever know it. It doesn't matter when we're gone. 

As we leave, we know we could go back one day. It's time that tells us when. What it seems to be the most sensible thing to do when we're leaving is nothing but to look back. It may do us no good but it's important nonetheless.

There we can see people and places, and the special moments, and the memories as well. Looking back hurts. Always. There we can find those we left behind. Some are friends and foes...some are the people we loved, others that we hated...and some we feel near to, others that we feel distant from...people and events and memories that dwell in places we've been to. And we realize as we go, that all of that, comprises the one person that we were. And we realize we did not at all the time love and love.We hate also at times. There are moments in which we're confident, others in which we're regretful.We've loved, we've lost. Memories. How can we ever forget to include them in our suitcase? We can always go back anyhow to cherish and love the more or otherwise. It's a matter to decide for.

When we go, it's not the people or places that we turn our back to. It's the person that we were. It's not possible to include it in the list of things to bring as we would memories.And it's not surprising then, that we feel a sense of loss whenever we go.When we leave, we don't lose people and places as easy as we lose our very selves that we once were. We could go back to the same people, same places, or whatever it is that we want to go back to, but we can never go back to the same "us" that we have left.We realize that even going back hurts as much as leaving.

In our life, there are things we think we cannot just live without. For one thing, we value all that belongs to friendship much as life. But when we leave and go, chances are, we may lose them. We wish we could keep them eternally. We can if we stay perhaps. When we go, we can be able to save some for keeps; but the others, we would totally lost in vain. It is unfair sometimes why we ever have to lose something. The consequence is so painful that we feel we can never afford to lose anymore. But it's totally absurd, as it's totally crazy that in whatever way and no matter how we try to understand how the whole thing works, we may still lose nonetheless for over a time and again.

The same sad feeling goes to the people we left behind. They lose us; or at least in the sight of their eyes.

When we decide to go, there in our hands lay the blueprint of where we're leading to or what we're up to. There's the plan. The itinerary. The tools and principles. However, failure comes when the plan we know best they're gonna work out do not materialize the way we expect them to. It happens. We make mistakes. We blunder. We fall along the road. It's just a matter of luck maybe. But destiny is something we work out for. It's good that it was said, " failure is a choice." At least, we can know if we're doing the right thing.

The moment we go, we should not forget we've been to the places and people we left behind. We know we could have lost a home. But home is where it is safe to be who we really are. It's where we can never be lost.

One day, should we decide that we go back to where we have left, it would be special to reminisce the past just to have the taste of what it feels like to be exactly where we were before. The people..the events..the places.. Here, we can refresh the memories. We go. We go back. The same thing happens. The tears..the smile..the memories. 

why her???

she's one of the reason I wake up in the morning, she's one of the reason I find a way to smile, she's a person who can change everything around when it is going bad. her eyes,her smile,her laugh, the look in her eyes when she talks to me. It’s just everything about her that makes me want her even more.


Hear reason, or she'll make you feel her.

To You.. my Biggest Temptation

I love her..
But I can't ignore you.
I wanted her.
But you give me reasons to like you.
She is cool
But you are amazing.
She is pretty.
However, you are seductive.



She is nice..
But your devilish charm
intices me with no end.
Her smile shines bright
but your grin takes me
to the darker side.
She is witty,
but you know something
I really like to explore.



I need to evade you
I need to get out
of your spell
I love her.. I know
But you are really
provocative.
I wish I have enough faith
and control..


Because you are one
kind of seductress
I really like to consider.

TGIF!!!

today is friday ...
and today is gimik day ..


dahil tinotopak ako lately kelangang mag unwind .,


 
foodtrip with college buddies .. sa all time favorites na bbquehan ..
plaza.. whahaha.. den a lil'shots!?? lol...

how can move on?

i kept on reminiscing on the memories we've shared..

Shithappens!! 

I have done something wrong.. I get it.. I know it seems like that lies never correct an issue. That is not even an argument to think about, but when you are scared... You tend to hide.. You tend to escape.. Especially when you are dealing with pain.. Pain as it is, is always unwanted. And for that... I justify the lie that I did.


I lie.. I hide.. I clandestinely plan to escape pain.. The pain of being rejected. I am always having that kind of hurt. I should have been numb with the stimulus of it. But you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I am not good at lying... I am not good expressing myself...
I know lying to you... will just make things worst.. But i swear I tried to be honest.. I tried to be strong. But I cannot simply let one reason for you to hate me... To reject me.. I cannot think about of anything else but to lie. I am just a person.. I am not perfect... My mind is not as broad as you think.. I can only think of an easy way.. and that is to lie.. I kept repeating myself.. To let you know.. that I am aware of my actions.. That I do take responsibilty. there is vaugeness in the things that I am saying right now. I cannot make it more specific.. in detail... Because you cannot distinguish pain in such precise manner.. It will be just there.. Like a lurking shadow on a dim lit room.


I am losing words now... I am running out of thoughts.. My mind is clouded and all I wish for is happiness. But I guess.. my feet is not that fast to chase it...

i don't really knows what it means.pero, all i know life is constantly changing, kahit love, kahit ang pag giging mapagmahal, pagiging sweet, lahat nagbabago,naaalala ko dati , kung di kita makausap di ako makatulog, pag di tayo nagkakaintidhan di ako mapakali, dati ang inspirasyong binibigay mo sa akin ay nag uumapaw, pero ngayon di ko na nararamdaman yun. and honestly i can go for days without talking to you,pero don't think that i dont care. because i really care.. kasi alam ko, na di ko pa alam ang gagawin ko pag nawala ka. ewan ko ba.. hay naku! makatulog na nga.. nytie bloggy.. ;)

Praying won’t do it
Hating won’t do it
Drinking won’t do it
Fighting won’t knock you out
Of my head

Hiding won’t hide it
Smiling won’t hide it
Like I ain’t tried it
Everyone’s tried it now
And failed somehow

So when you gonna let me
When you gonna let me out – Out

And if you know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I’m in pieces
Seems like peace is
The only thing I’ll never know
How do you get up
Get up

‘Cos driving won’t do it
Flying won’t do it
Denying won’t do it
Crying won’t drown it out
What you said

When I’m standing on the yellow line
Waiting at the station
Or I’m late for work
A vital presentation
If you call me now girl
Without reservation
I would try to break through

But if you know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I’m in pieces
It seems like peace is
The only thing I never know
How do you get up from an all-time low
I can’t even find a place to start
How do I choose between my head and heart
till it ceases I never know
How do you get up from an all-time low..

you should know, i can only take so much. im only human, prone to wordly things. i know change is inevitable, but if the changes aren't for the better, then why even bother...

  I miss this BLOG!!! :D

.nakatingin lang sa monitor.. iniisip kung ano itatype ko.. hahaha. pero wala akong maisip..oo na wala kasi akong utak..


trip ko lang mag post.. dahil bored ako.




share ko to.. THANK YOU.

im so lucky to have such a great friend like you... who'd forgive me if i forgot her birthday. Happy Belated Birthday Po Dear! please keep me in your heart... as i will always keep you in mine and always remember... i love you so... im letting you go but it doesnt mean im giving up on you...Happy Belated Birthday.. 

i miss this blog... :D sabi nila "do what makes you happy" pero bakit ganun , kung san ka masaya ay dun naman madaming hassle,dameng kontra .. An0 ba dapat ?

tired of looking at your photographs smiling at your latest craze you can change the things you say and do... but nothing can change the fact that you are sadly deranged and i want nothing to do with you, no more hot tears and pride...  im moving on to a better place nightmares dont arrive when i see your face cannot hold on to a bittter past candles like us were never meant to last maybe you were right and i was wrong but nonetheless this is my final about you.... tired of thinking about your memories after all that we've been through nothing can change the fact that i walked the path and i was happy to see it through... xhet! kainis.. ang tanong sa sarili ko.. kung kaya ko bah?? 

to be happy in life, its our choice.. but to be happier, it is always our decision.. nice qoutes... :D


para sa taong malapit sa akin.. 


i know u weren't mine, and u will never be mine again; u can't be mine. maybe i once owned u, but it was just for a while.. too sad it didn't even last, coz everywhere i go.. there's someone owning u. so, i'll just let u go.. even if it's soooo hard for me to do. 

voices in my head..

i dont know what to think, i dont know what to do. she made me feel complete then she broke my heart in two... i am betrayed, she made a fool out of me despite of that i love her still! oh god! im so stupid!!! i want to scream, i want to kick someone elses ass but it will not make no difference... it will not take away my pain and it will not change the fact that i was betrayed... my heaven is not turning into hell and my beautiful angel turns into a devil. the place where im always at peace is now a place of hatred and pain.
nowhere to go, no place to hide for a guy like me who is tormented by his own memory........

War of Hearts and Mind

i still can't find truth and peace how will i find my way.. they say love, love without fear s said to be the key but! just look around NO answer to be found..

i wish i'm Numb inside
coz i dont' want this feeling,
feeling that i can't hide

   

im tired.. pagod na talaga ako..

maybe parting ways would be better than staying or 

being stuck.

  

"it made me realize, there's no such thing as forever."

paano ba kau nagiging masaya? paano ba mag create ng kasiyahan at manatili yun sa inyong isipan? me kasi always bored e. always malungkot... hindi ko alam kung paano maging masaya. napapangiti ako...napapatawa...pero ndi ko maramdaman ang tunay na kasiyahan. paano nga ba???  tang-inang buhay toh.. kainis! shit! bwesit!

maraming nawawala, maraming hinahanap

hindi ka kontento.. hanggang ngayon ganito pa rin ako.

sana may ma iba,sana may magbago

sana umunlad naman tayo, hanggang ngayon pangarap lang ba ito.

gusto kitang makita, gusto kitang mayakap, 

gusto kong maging tayo ulit

hanggang ngayon na lang kita mamahalin

sweet.. pero parang bitter pakinggan.. Argh!! di ko maintindihan..

bahala na!!!

what i really feel??.. i can hide the pain and make others think that i can move on easily, but i can never deny the truth that the person who failed and hurt me, is still the same person I wish to love me.. kainis.. ang aga.. i dream of you kagabi eh..

  

hello grengelle, its a while na ah.. i just read this from the internet..

special people are those 

who have the ability to share their lives with others. 

they are honest in word and deed, 

they are sincere and compassionate, 

and they always make sure that love is a part of everything. 

special people are those who have the ability to give to others 

and help them with the changes that come their way. 

they are not afraid of being vulnerable, 

they believe in their uniqueness 

and are proud to be who they are. 

special people are those who allow themselves the pleasure of 

being close to others and caring about their happiness. 

they have come to understand 

that love is what makes the difference in life. 

By:

Deanna Beisser

matanong ko lang.. special ba din ako? lol.. 

Happy Happy 7th monthsary Grengelle! I keep on thanking the lord for giving me such a wonderful and loving blog like you. hahaha.. im glad im sharing my life with you! thanks for making me happy bloggy. i will continue to love you til the rest of my life. I love you I love you I love you and I miss you sooooooooo much dear!

Happy Happy 7th monthsary!!!

Goodnight, I love you, see you in the morning.

whew.. kakapagod.. ang sakit sa mata.. :( ive been sign-up on social networks for the inviting new friends to visits sam's botta site.. hahaha.. :D sayang kaya.. 1 dollar per hour.. lakas kasi  sa manager ng Team Romance in ODesk.. ;) guess who.. si DEAR'Angel koh.. hehehe.. :P ive been creating new accounts to twitter.. myspace.. friendster.. flixster.. tagged.. at ang iba bukas nalang.. sleepy na eh.. and not feeling well pa.. tsk tsk tsk.. oh xei xei.. nytie!!! Grengelle.. Advance nga pala.. Happy Monthsary.. :D

I AM MISSING YOU

i really want to tell you that in personal. 

but i guess i can't layo mo kasi eh, pero sa chat im telling you nman ah.. pero ewan ko lang kung naniniwala ka ba..

however, i wonder if i still come across your mind once in a while.

im feel so tired and uninspired.. bat kaya gnun. prang khit anong gwin ko hndi ko mgwang mging msya.. prang lging may kulang..

ramdam niyo ba ko?........


i want a new me.

i want to write something good... however, all i could think is a warm bath, my mess room, bed, pillows... just may be, sleeping will lift my soul... nonetheless, i don’t like to sleep, because i know i will end up creating a dream in which “we” are still the main characters... 

when i sleep

i find respite when i sleep… it gives me a sense of relief as i ran away from my problems and my heartache… last night, i dreamt about you again… it was a nice dream, it was happy but i got awakened, i hope i didn’t though… i have tried not to think about you over the past days but i guess i wasn’t trying hard enough… better luck again today as i try not to miss you… you said i’ll be okay, that i would easily forget you but i still find that hard to believe. so i write hir again, try to pour out my emotions here because i cant talk to anyone, especially those who know me personally…  hahays! why is it that come out this way.. 

bakit ba 

dear.. masyado ka na yatang nagpapa-miss, aba naman...


chat nga tayo kanina, pero mas lumala ang pagka-miss ko sayo.. 

kahit palagi kang nasa isip ko, palagi pa din kitang nami-miss